Beyond the Pale by Jennifer Millikin | ARC | A Book Review

I got stressed by a customer I was talking to at work today so I baked bread. I've been practicing to bake bread without yeast. I got the recipe from Pinterest and so far, it has been good. Today, I still used half the recipe but then the bread turned out a little bit salty. I then realized that I used the full measurement for the salt in the recipe instead of half. Fortunately, the bread is still edible. I think I'm good. 

Beyond the pale is an idiomatic expression which means outside the bounds of normal or acceptable behavior. For me, this would also describe the kind of friendship the three main characters of this story have. Lennon Davies. Finn Jeffries. Brady Sterling. Outrageous and intolerable. Finn and Brady are bestfriends since grade school. In third grade, they met Lennon. She became the third member of the group. From then on, they were inseparable and have always been there for each other through thick and thin, but all that changed when something happened on the night of their high school graduation. These three went on their separate ways until their paths crossed again when Lennon's mom died. When Lennon goes back to Agua Mesa, Finn and Brady are bound to be there too. What would their reunion be like? Are things going to be like they were before? 

I remember feeling varied emotions when I was reading this story. It invoked a lot of feelings. I mostly felt for Lennon. She has a crappy home life. She doesn't feel loved by her mom. But I think, she also has the best friends in the whole wide world - Finn and Brady. These two would bring down the moon for her if she asks them to. That's how thick these three are. Their friendship is to be envied. 

Of all the books of Millikin that I've read, this is probably the most shocking and most surprising. On the first chapter alone, I already felt the tension, the apprehension and the drama that is going to unfold. I was pulled helplessly into the love triangle and the intertwined and complicated relationship of these three main characters. I felt like their reunion is going to bring back old wounds, things that were left unspoken will be hinted at and things that were left alone or were swept under the rug will likely to be unearthed. I felt that electrifying and live tension in the air. It felt like I too was walking on eggshells. 

I would say that this story had me asking a lot of questions after it ended. I had this sudden urge to find and talk to someone who've just read the story and ask, "WHAT THE F%%% JUST HAPPENED?" (Yes, all in CAPS.) We have to compare notes. I had to go back to the last few pages or probably the last two chapters to make sure I got it right and that my reaction was justified. And I did get it right. I wasn't hallucinating or even imagining. That was the part that did me in. That was the part which made this book "Oh, so beyond the pale." Until now, months after reading this book, I still feel like at a loss. I still can't believe it. It made me ask myself, "what if I were Lennon, would that experience shape me to be a better person or mess me up more? Would it change the way I see life in general? Would I be thankful for it or would it make me loathe myself? These are just a few of the questions running through my head. At the same time, I was also in awe as to the lengths one would go in the name of friendship and love. And I don't blame them. If I were Brady or Finn, I would have probably done anything in my power to save Lennon from any more heartaches and desperation. I think, for once in our life, we all experience that one moment where we are called to do something beyond the pale. Something that is maybe beyond the bounds of reason. I call it something you do or a decision born out of a moment of temporary madness. Or if you're insane most of the time, something you do on a very rare lucid interval. Something you might actually regret but if you're asked if you would do it again, you would still do it without a moment's hesitation. It's one of those decisions which you might not ever dream of making but then you will commit to it again, a thousand times over because you know you're doing it for someone you love more than your life. I have once been on that kind of situation and I would say, if I had to go through that again, I'd still do it - a thousand times over. Just like a hero willing to go through that painful and gruesome death over and over again even in the next lifetime, only because he knows that the sacrifice would be so worth it.

With that said, I give this book 5/5 Lincoln's. The five-dollar bill is so significant in this story because it somehow marked the start of that unbreakable bond between Finn and Lennon. Who Lennon ends up with is also one of the many questions I asked. Who could the lucky guy be - Finn or Brady? I had my own bet and how I came up with that was by imagining "if I were Lennon", which actually happened a lot in the course of reading this story. I think, you won't get the full experience of this wonderful tale if you've never ever felt like you were actually Lennon. It's a requirement. At some point, you not only need to empathize with Lennon but you have be her in order to fully understand the dynamics between the characters and the essence of the story. You have to experience Lennon at some point and only then are you allowed to judge how and why the characters are who they are. If you were just a bystander unable to partake in the intimate experience, then you have not fully grasped the intention of this book. So yes, it would take a while for you to debrief after reading this. You will end up with a lot of questions as I have. And believe me, you will try to analyze the events of the story like it's the most important thing in the universe because you have to make sure that you understand what's really written between the lines and what has been implied. Yes, this is probably one of the best-written stories that had stayed with me days or even months after because I can't seem to get over it. It sticks with you like that stubborn gum in your shoe that you can't seem to wipe off.

Maybe that's how life goes. Perhaps we aren't a collection of the hearts we break, the love we fail into, or the experiences we have. We start out whole, and as we go through life, we carve out pieces of ourselves and leave them behind. Maybe we pick up the pieces of others, and stitch them onto us, until we are a fabric made of everyone else.

- Jennifer Millikin, Beyond the Pale - 

Thanks again, Jennifer Millikin for the ARC. I had a great time reading this story and I think this is your best story yet. 

The Austen Escape by Katherine Reay | A Book Review

I got this book from Netgalley. Just by the title alone, my attention was already captured. Like all readers, I too am curious and enamored by Jane Austen's works. Who wouldn't, right? I haven't read a lot of Miss Austen's books. So far, I've only read Pride and Prejudice. I have to read more of her books, especially after reading this book. It got me curious about the other characters in her books mentioned here. I would try to include her books in my TBR this year. 

Have you seen the movie of Keri Russel, Austenland? This book is a lot like the movie. The characters here traveled to Bath, England to immerse in all things Austen. Wear costumes, play a character of Austen's in her novels, and get to live in a mansion which is like a set in the time of Austen's stories. This is a different kind of vacation. A getaway from the daily stress and grind and live in Austen's world and characters for a week or so and forget about modern day troubles. 

The main character in this book is Mary Davies. She's a very talented and creative industrial engineer. She works in a company she loves and she loves her job even more. She also enjoys working with the adorable, hilarious, and intelligent consultant at their office, who also seemed to be taken with Mary. Everything seems to be working out with Mary until her pet and most beloved project failed. The costs and the failure of that project is threatening Mary to lose her job. One other thorn in her side is her childhood best friend, Isabel, who had invited her to go on a two-week vacation to Bath, England. This vacation may be what Mary needs in order to relieve some stress at work and probably put some things into perspective.

I really enjoyed the story. Mary Davies is one very lovable character. I think I can relate to Mary in many ways. She's a nerd but a very impressive nerd with her talent in creating gizmos and gadgets. I also love her special talent of creating animals and stuff from electrical wires. She is a modern inventor and she loves what she's doing. Mary reminded me of my frustration of wanting to be an engineer. Deep within, I always wanted to be one. A computer engineer. I am tech-savvy and how I ended up in Accounting is a story which I might have told in one of my posts here. Maybe, in my next life, I could be that or I can still be one. It's never too late for anything, right? Anyway, I love Accounting too. Thinking back, I also couldn't think of not having done that. 

The other important character here is Isabel. I honestly hate her just by the descriptions and the stories Mary has related about her. She has not been a good best friend to Mary but she had her moments too. And once you get a picture of Isabel's life, you will feel sorry for her. The same way Mary's Mom and Dad had taken in Isabel like a real daughter, you too will feel like making allowances for Isabel's very unforgivable flaws. In the end, at least, she found her spot and eventually got out from under her father's claws and was able to live a life of freedom. Freedom to be herself and be happy. By end of the story, I still did not love Isabel but I came to understand her character more. She represents a lot of real persons in my life. Some, I am still friends with to this day and some have been a part of my life and have done me some torment of some kind. Hopefully, like Isabel, they too will find happiness so they would stop making other people as miserable as they are.

Nathan, a.k.a TCG. I just love him. He might just be the guy I want to have in real life. He's sensitive, smart, and caring. The thing I love about him the most is the fact that he wasn't sure if Mary even feels the same way about him. In a way, he's clueless and that is so cute for someone who works as a consultant who's supposed to be so intelligent and smart and should be able to notice nuances about people. I guess, not all nuances because he never read Mary's signals clearly and the same goes for Mary too. Good thing, these two were finally able to get everything cleared out. I think they complement each other. 

There are a lot of very memorable parts in the story. I would never forget the part when Clara said, "Sense and Senseless" instead of Sense and Sensibility. That really cracked me up. Also, the part about Mary pointing out that Austen hated Mary's. "She hated all the Mary's the same way she hated Bath." That was a very smart observation and realization which made me more curious to actually read all of Austen's stories with Mary's in them. I can relate to Austen. I too have a name or names I would associate with a mean person. I did meet a few people with the same name and they proved to be different so, they are exemptions to that. 

The story pointed out a lot of truths about relationships and human nature. I had to nod my  head a lot of times in agreement to a lot of the statements. There were also some that hit like cold water on the face. It hurts to accept but they're true. The same way, Mary felt about a lot of realities and realizations that dawned on her brought about by her stay in Bath. 

I love the book and I'm sure I'm going to start looking for books of Katherine Reay. I need to read more of her books, the same way I felt I've missed a lot not having read a lot of Austen. With that said, obviously I'm giving this book 5/5 wire animals. In a lot of ways, I can relate to Mary. I felt I could just be her in this story. There are a lot of similarities especially about work. And I felt the same disappointment and sadness when it dawned on Mary that Austen did not like Mary's and what all the Mary's represent to her. Whether, they'd be the characters in her book which are representations of maybe real persons in Austen's life. Knowing that her namesake may have done Austen some injustice or grave ill, somehow affected Mary the same way as if she shares some blame. I had one co-worker who honestly told me that he didn't like my name. He said my name reminds him of someone or some not so nice experience. I appreciated his honesty. It wasn't that he did not like me but I understand what he meant. He's uncomfortable that I remind him of something he doesn't want to be reminded of. I too don't like my name. If I were given the chance, I would have named myself something else. This story also reminded me of the animated story by Disney- Home on the Range. It's about farm animals, cows to be exact, who had banded together to save their farm "Little Patch of Heaven." I really love one of the songs on the OST- "Will the Sun Ever Shine Again." So, this story reminded me of a lot of different things and it's very honest and real, even if a lot of metaphors and things about Austen are used in here. It is a very relevant story which examines a lot about the different relationships we have. Just as Austen's stories are like a study on human behavior and human nature, this story too tackled that subject. I am so fortunate that I found this book and Miss Reay. Thank you again, Netgalley.

No one wants to be third choice, even if they couldn't care less about being any choice.

- Katherine Reay, The Austen Escape - 

Winter Signs (Season Named #2) by Sarah Gai | A Book Review

I read the first book in the series by the same author--Autumn's Dance, so when I found this on Xpressobooktours' site as one of the things up for review, I readily signed up. I remember liking the first book, so I am hoping to be touched and moved by this second installment also.

Winter Signs is a story about a girl who was born a deaf-mute and had to go through a lot of heart-breaking loss in her life. Grief so devastating that she thought she had nothing to live for. The only way she thinks she will be able to get out of the dark hole she was in was to go away from everyone she knew and start over. Only to find out that she has to, whether she likes it or not, get closure and move on because a lot of people are just waiting for her to be ready to do that.

If the first book was about domestic violence and family, this one is about loss and grief, which I think is more tragic and devastating. The common theme of the two books in the series is family, friendship, and love. Well, love actually in all its forms. Like the first book, this story embodies the saving grace of unconditional love. That it heals all wounds, even a black hole caused by a great loss of one's great and first love.

This story reminds me of when I was in my grade school. I was in a special class. We were called fast-learners. I think it was more of more projects and more school work to do than most of the other pupils in our grade level. Anyway, we were next to the classes of the hearing-impaired and the mentally-challenged. Yes, we were exactly where we were supposed to be, in the building for special people. We were special in our own way. I remember, we developed a friendship with some of the pupils from those classes and we learned to do sign language. I learned how the signs for the alphabet and some of the most commons signs for beautiful, ugly, father, mother, and I love you. Later in high school, the sign language for the alphabet became very handy when I joined the Girl Scouts. It was also very useful talking to a friend who knows sign language without giving away what you are talking about. It's like a secret form of communication, if there wasn't any deaf-mute or anybody else who could understand it.

I think of this book as Winter Sighs. I feel like taking a deep and big sigh every time I think about this story. The loss and heartbreak Winter had to go through at a young age, one after the other, was just so traumatic. It left a very big hole, actually a vacuum in her heart and it felt like her heart would never work again. I felt that too. I felt like my heart stopped beating when I got to that part of the story. Winter and Connor's love for each other is what you could call ordained. They were made for each other. I could feel Connor's great love for Winter even in my pores. It was just so strong that even an outsider would never make the mistake of getting in between these two. Such love is just so extraordinary and very rare. Not to mention, that they started as best friends at such a young age and they grew to falling in love with each other.

My favorite part of the story is how Connor and Winter met. It was just so hilarious imagining a stick thin Winter hitting a similarly young Connor in the face. It was not a cute first meeting but definitely memorable and very hilarious to anyone seeing it. Who knew it was a start to a very close friendship and love that two can ever share.

Then, there's Nolan. It seemed like the author has a habit of naming the two leading men in this story with surnames. I think it's unique and cute. So Nolan, I think he has a lot in common with Connor. Aside from of course, being attracted and drawn to Winter, these two seem to share a lot of traits. They are both good teenagers who both grew up with single moms. They are both an only child also. So, it isn't any wonder why Winter felt comfortable and safe with him. 

Nolan and Winter. These two both know that there is some special link between them but Winter was just not ready to deal with anything that will remind her of Connor. Winter tried denying her feelings for Nolan but in the end, she found that she could not go through the same experience of losing someone she loves again. After all the push and pull between these two, finally Winter gave up and succumbed to the ever powerful pull of love and let Nolan in for good. And there were reasons why Nolan had to do the things he did for Winter.

Charlie and Nicole were so cute also. I am glad that in spite of the tragedy that happened in this story, most of the characters found their place and love of their lives. These two have their own issues but eventually they got married and have gotten over the bad parts of their childhood. The same with the other characters, even with Sadie who became a better person than she was back in high school. A very nice turn of events which doesn't really happen in a lot of stories. The bully grew up to realize her faults and apologize for them, is such a refreshing thing. I hope it happens more often in stories and in real life.

I give the book 5/5 snowflakes. This story brings out a lot of emotions to the surface. Though loss and tragedy is the most prevalent, but hope and recovery is also in the scene. Moving on and finding that the heart can still function and beat like it was never shattered after all is a great blessing. To find two great loves in one lifetime is such a miracle. Winter is very fortunate and she didn't have to forget Connor just because she is now with Nolan. Connor is a big part of her and Nolan is such a great guy for knowing the same thing. Connor is as much a part of Nolan as to Winter. They are both lucky to have known him. 

This story just oozes with very strong emotions that I can't even help for my chest to feel tight while writing this review. This evokes a lot of sad feelings but knowing that everything ended up well with everyone is such a relief. Yes, a happy ending! Thank you. Everything was resolve. Every issue and obstacle that was brought up in this story was resolved and given a happy ending, except for Summer which I am sure is the next book in this series. 

Here is a quote which beautifully summarizes what, how, and why grief is. And no one is ever more powerful than grief except for love. Only love can soften it's blow and help one to recover from the aftermath of its very earth-shattering effects. So, for everyone who is going through grief right now, know that you can take as much time as you can to try to deal with it and when you are ready to come out of that deep hole, the sun is just outside ready to welcome you in all its shining glory.

Grief is a hard thing and there is no time limit on how long it will last. It could be a month, a year, a decade or the rest of your life that you mourn over the loss of a loved one, a marriage breakdown, or a friendship you thought would never end. You see, grief comes in all shapes but no matter how long it takes, know that it's okay to feel and know that, when you're ready, the sun is waiting right outside your window wanting to shine on you once again.

- Sarah Gai, Winter Signs -

Thank you again, Giselle of Xpressobooktours for the copy and for Sarah Gai for this wonderful story. 

Other books by the author:
Autumn's Dance (Season Named #1)

Coming Up for Air by Miranda Kennealy | A Book Review

This is also my first time to read a Miranda Kenneally. I got this from Netgalley. This is a sweet story of best friends who love the same sport--swimming and have fallen in love.

I think I signed up for this book because of the title. Very interesting. I, then read the blurb and it's even more interesting. So, the ending, I signed up for this one.

Maggie and Levi are best friends who are both swimmers and dreamed of playing in the Olympics someday. Their day is spent mostly in the pool practicing, school and then home. They are so focused on their goal and their training is rigorous. Discipline is strictly part of their daily life. There is no time for a relationship or any other normal things teenagers do. Until Maggie realized that she wanted to try some things before going to college--like making out. But how to go about it?

I admire Maggie for having the confidence and the trust in her relationship with Levi to even broach the bordering-on-ridiculous idea of recruiting Levi to take part in her quest to explore the unexplored territories of being a teenager. It was very gutsy and I think her belief that Levi would be honest with her was her assurance that she will not end up looking deranged or crazy or embarrassed. Though, the idea is a bit crazy but then curiosity won out. Maggie is lucky that she has a best friend like Levi who is just, maybe, as crazy as her.

Ah, Levi. I think he's my new book boyfriend. He's a great combination of a jock and geek in one. An amazing swimmer and a guy who likes to read Harry Potter on swimming practice breaks, is just so adorable. It's so rare to find guys like him who never fails to have a book in his back. Honest and a gentleman. He also loves his grandma. What more could a girl ask for?

I just love best friends falling in love. Especially, childhood best friends. It's just so romantic and just natural. And Maggie and Levi are just two people who are obviously going to fall in love with each other. Even their friends have just been waiting for it to happen.

This is a very sweet and inspiring story of friendship, trust, loyalty and love. It also talks of dedication, discipline and passion to one's craft. Like Maggie and Levi, in spite of pressures surrounding them, they kept their eyes on their goal of someday going to the Olympics. It also helped that they have a great group of supported friends and mentors who helped them stay on their pursuit. 

One other important nugget that the story emphasizes is to always best yourself. Your rival is only yourself. Just focus on what you can do. Strive to be better than your last. Improve, even just a little everyday.

I give this book 4/5 swimming googles. A very light and enjoyable read bound to get you giggling and sighing. A story surely to make you  want to take up swimming as another sport, either as a next hobby, a workout routine or a competitive endeavor. Definitely, this story will make you come up for air for the kind of friendship and relationship Maggie and Levi have. Truly one of a kind. Their friendship stood a test that have surely made other relationships irreconcilable. 

Thank you Miss Kennealy for this inspirational romance story. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your books.

Most people are so busy thinking about themselves they aren't worried about other people. It's human to think everyone is always watching everything we do, but they aren't.

- Miranda Kennealy, Coming Up for Air - 

Thank you Netgalley for the copy.