Starfish (Starfish #1) by Lisa Becker | A Book Review

Lisa Becker is another author who sends me messages on Instagram every time she has a new book. I readily agree to read and review her books because they're always fun and delightful to read. Her characters are very real which most readers could relate with. 

Starfish is a rock star romance as described on the cover. I am not sure why but I really love reading rock star romances. I guess, it's a hidden fantasy of mine to end up with a rock star or some celebrity. I do have a few in mind. It's a situation akin to shooting for the moon but then what would you know? There are a lot of ordinary people who are married to rock stars and popular icons. Who knows, right? I am still single. What are the chances that I would actually end up with my favorite Korean drama actor? Dream on. Anyone can dream, right? Dreaming is free anyway.  Calling Lee Jae Yoon, Lee Dong Wook, Jung Il Woo.

Talking about rock stars, I've always had a crush on Alex Band of The Calling, Jason Wade of Lifehouse and Danny O'Donoghue of The Script. Aside from the fact that I love their songs and they're very talented, these guys are good for the eyes too. I've just started getting into K-pop too. Yes, I know, a bit late but I'm catching up. I really love CNBlue. I love alternative rock and their songs sound like that though they identify themselves as more of a pop rock band. I am so impressed by Jung Yong Hwa's ability to entertain and engage the audience in their concerts. He comes up with these ideas like playing the drums and have the other members do other things too. I would love to watch them play live if they ever come here to the Philippines. Jung Yong Hwa are you hearing this? I am actually listening to CNBlue while writing this review.

This is a story of Brad and Marin. Brad, obviously is the rock star. Marin is the ambitious intern who dreams of working for a big tech firm. Unfortunately, she ends up getting a four-month internship as the PR of a rock band who is hailed to be the next big thing - the Kings Quarters. I think Marin's job of being a PR girl for the Kings Quarters actually sounds incredible. Going on tour with the band is like a dream come true, right? I wouldn't refuse if I were presented with a rare opportunity as that. Aside from it being a new experience, it's also interesting to know if all the myths and popular beliefs about how the rich and famous live and breath would be true. I would take it as an in-depth investigation or an immersion. But not Marin, she wasn't very thrilled with the assignment. 

What I love most about the story is how Marin proved that she can be really good at her job. Yes, it wasn't what she really wanted but she ended up enjoying it even though it was a challenge at first, especially with the band members. In the end, she proved to be so valuable and essential to the existence of the band. Not to mention, she got close to the band members and yes, fell in love too. 

Brad is a very interesting lead male character. I find it refreshing to meet someone who would rather do coding on a computer than be in the limelight being a rock star. He'd rather have his inner nerd shine than bask in the fame and limelight. It's very humble and very endearing. Very few people would give up being popular than enjoy peace and quiet. It's very rare to find someone like that especially in this age of social media. Every one wants to be popular or want to go viral. Every one wants to take a shot at being an instant celebrity at any expense. 

This story tells of behind-the-scenes activities of what rock bands are famous for - yes, sex, drugs and alcohol. Fortunately, not all of the members enjoy all that. Some have grown tired of it. Some have outgrown it. Some just wouldn't grow up hence, the after parties are still a must. Of course, you can't exclude the people who want to take a bite of the popularity of the band and use it to their benefit. There's jealousy and intrigue and all other dramas too. 

I give this book 4/5 beanboozled jelly beans. This was a very fun read. It's like reading the real lives of rock stars with all the things that come with fame and money. It's not all that glorious as we are all made to believe. There could be conflicts and most of the time, not all bands are actually allowed to write the songs they want to write. Most of them have to conform to some marketing idea or branding image they have to portray. Yes, it's all about the money. This made me think about how western bands are way different from Korean pop or music idols. Korean pop idol aspirants have to train for years before they debut. A K-pop band or group has to live together in a dorm to develop team work among members. The size of the dorm would indicate how the group is doing. If they just started, they would be sharing a very modest or even a cramped space. They also have go through a lot and I guess, that keeps them grounded. Just like BTS, they were the underdogs. They were often bullied in reality shows they guest in when they first started. But look at them now. They endured all that and remained focused on their goal. They were the first ever Korean or Asian band to make it to the Billboards. It's probably one of the reasons why the ARMY would die for them because they've given their all (meaning they worked hard with no hanky-panky or no shortcuts) just to get to where they are now, yet remained humble. They don't feel so entitled as what some celebrities are. Sometimes they even forget they're celebrities. And yes, I like BTS. I root for them. Aside from being talented, they're also just ordinary people who worked hard to achieve their dreams yet never forgetting where they came from. 

When you feel like you can't go on, like there's nothing there for you...

Just remember: Laundry. Laundry is always there.

- Lisa Becker, Starfish -  

Thank you again, Lisa Becker for the review copy. I will be posting reviews soon for the other books you gave me. 

Other books by Lisa Becker: 

Clutch

The Subway Girl

Dear Future Self (review coming soon)

Links (review coming soon)

Excess Baggage (Babes of Brighton #1) by Laura Barnard | ARC | A Book Review

Every time Laura Barnard has a new book coming out or she wants to relaunch one of her books, she always sends me a message through Instagram and asks if I want to be a part of the launch or review the book. I always say yes because her stories are always hilarious and the characters are very real and imperfect. I find some of her characters irritating at first and then you will end up rooting for them. There was one story where I wasn't sure if I liked the main character but I really enjoyed the whole book which actually speaks a lot about the ability of the author to keep her audience. So, I was just thrilled when she asked me again to read and review this book. Excess Baggage was released August 18, 2020.

This book is another one with a very clumsy and imperfect main character in it. Erica is far from being perfect. I think she has the misfortune of always embarrassing herself in front of the guy she likes. The situations she gets herself into are the stuff that would mostly go viral on the internet if they were caught on camera that should never see the light of day. Yes, I feel so sorry for her every time this happens. Her character reminds me of Lindsay Lohan's character in 'Just My Luck. '

This is a second chance romance every one would wish would happen in their life except for the accidents that happen to Erica. She's like an accident magnet which reminds me of one of my bestfriends who happen to fall most of the time. At least, my friend only got scratches and a little blood here and there. Unlike Erica whose minor accidents are pictures you can't un-see.

This story had me thinking if I like Erica's character at all. I am not sure but I sure do wish she'd end up with Jack. I think Erica's character wasn't so striking except for holding her head high every after embarrassing situation she's into. But aside from that, I don't find a lot of other things endearing in her character. This story is at times hilarious but it came to a point where it felt predictable, especially where Erica is involved. I would most likely could tell when something embarrassing would happen to her again. 

I give this story 2.75/5 loosely tied bikini tops.  Though the story is very easy to read and you would want to finish it in one reading, I felt it to be so predictable. Of all the stories of Barnard that I've read, this is probably the less engaging of all. I wasn't so taken with the story. There were very few points of interest that would make you wonder what's going on like what Jack's hiding. But other than that, you pretty much would know how the story would end or when Erica would humiliate herself again. So, this was okay but I've read her other stories and they were more entertaining and delightful than this one. I would have given this a lower rating but I remember there were some parts, though very few, that had me curious. Jack's character is also a saving grace for this story. He's everything you would want in a guy and he's very protective and patient with Erica. I am glad that his feelings for Erica is as sure as the next moment Erica will embarrass herself. Realizing this was the first book in the series, and I've read book three, is I guess a good thing. Bagging Alice, book three, is way more hilarious and more fun to read. I like the cover of this book though. 

All I know is that the butterflies that have been lying dormant in my stomach have come back to life, flying around screaming 'He's here! He's here!'

- Laura Barnard, Excess Baggage (Babes of Brighton #1) - 

Thank you again, Laura Barnard for the advanced review copy. I look forward to reading your other books. 

Other books by Laura Barnard: 

Bagging Alice (Babes of Brighton #3)

The Debt and the Doormat (The Debt and the Doormat #1)

Circus of the Dead (Circus of the Dead #1) by Kimberly Loth | ARC | A Book Review

It's been a while since I last read a Kimberly Loth. I have missed her stories. They've always been so fascinating and intriguing. Waiting for the next book in the series was a pain and a form of torture. But it always ends up all worth the effort because it's always full of surprises that come from nowhere. I will always be an avid fan of her stories. And with this new book, I was reminded of how I have always enjoyed her stories. How her characters have made me hopeful and inspired in spite of all the hardships and stresses in the world. 

Circus of the Dead is just what it says. A circus full of horrors. Nasty clowns whose goal is not to make someone happy but miserable. A real deadly circus where there's always someone who ends up dead. There are ghosts and vampires too. It's not a place of fun, not unless you're a masochist or a sadist or think that seeing blood is fun. It's a place for the morbid and people who have a death wish. How Callie ends up in this horrible place is unfortunate. What was supposed to be a fun summer vacation with his Uncle in New Orleans, turned out to be a living nightmare she might not get out alive. 

This story reminds me of Stephen King's Bazaar of Bad Dreams. The only bright spot in the whole story is Callie who is full of spunk and will never give up. I guess, if it were someone of lesser strength and personality than she is, that person would have succumb to all the temptations already just to end everything. But not Callie. I root for her. Every attempt that she tries to get out of the island, I totally want it to succeed. Unfortunately, some greater magic is at work here that Callie has yet to understand in order to beat it and get out of the island and back to the loving arms of her family. 

I think the story is a bit relevant in this current time because with the Covid-19 pandemic, we are all like Callie, trapped in an island in New Orleans and finding a way to get out back to sunny California. And like some of the visitors of the circus, sadly, some people did not know that the time they spent at the circus, whether they were there out of curiosity or due to peer pressure, is actually their last time on earth. And like Callie, we try our best to stay alive in this forsaken island while biding her time until she can think of a way to get out for good.

The Circus of the Dead, just like the current pandemic reminds us of what's important in life. Family, friends and just the basic necessities. All else are unnecessary and we can do without. We will survive if we keep our wits and take one day at a time. And just like Callie, learn about the surroundings, the people and never lose hope. For Callie, she has to stay alive to get out of the island. She can't lose sight of that goal. She has to remind herself of that every day. 

I did enjoy the story even though it's a bit morbid and gruesome. But then again, every reader is forewarned. The title itself tells you that. Read at your own risk. But even so, as I have said, Callie's character is just so strong and she's a fighter. I think she was purposely lured to this place because there's something in her. I am not sure if she has a certain special ability of supernatural kind but she is special. And I would hate to say it but Samuel would rue the day he met Callie. I have faith that Callie will beat all odds and get out of the island and maybe bring back sunshine and hope to all the cursed inhabitants there also. But that's just me looking so far ahead. 

I give the book 5/5 gutsy fire dancers. This book is not for the faint and chicken-hearted. If you are a fan of Stephen King, you'll definitely love this story. If you've been following Kimberly Loth as I have, this is another story to be excited for. This type of story coming from Loth does not surprise me at all. With her talent of coming up with incredible and fascinating tales of adventures, I, in a way have expected she will likely come up with this one. I am excited and psyched as to what other horrors and blocks Callie has to go through in order to finally be back to the real world and be with her family again. I am also sure that Callie, with her mindset and attitude, will never let anything defeat her. She will find a way. I know she will. I guess, the best thing about Loth's stories are her characters. They're simply not to be messed with. They would find a way to beat the enemy or find a way to go around the obstacle. And I have a feeling that Callie's the type who can think out of the box. With that kind of thinking, I know she will outsmart Samuel. I bet on it. Watch out Samuel!

He's got that look that is dangerous but devastatingly handsome. The kind of guy who is sure to treat you like crap and yet, you run back to him because his kisses curl your toes. 

Not very good clowns unless their mission in life is to make everyone else as grumpy as they are.  

- Kimberly Loth, Circus of the Dead #1 - 

Thank you again, Kimberly Loth for the advanced review copy. I have missed you. I'm looking forward to the next books in the series. 

Beyond the Pale by Jennifer Millikin | ARC | A Book Review

I got stressed by a customer I was talking to at work today so I baked bread. I've been practicing to bake bread without yeast. I got the recipe from Pinterest and so far, it has been good. Today, I still used half the recipe but then the bread turned out a little bit salty. I then realized that I used the full measurement for the salt in the recipe instead of half. Fortunately, the bread is still edible. I think I'm good. 

Beyond the pale is an idiomatic expression which means outside the bounds of normal or acceptable behavior. For me, this would also describe the kind of friendship the three main characters of this story have. Lennon Davies. Finn Jeffries. Brady Sterling. Outrageous and intolerable. Finn and Brady are bestfriends since grade school. In third grade, they met Lennon. She became the third member of the group. From then on, they were inseparable and have always been there for each other through thick and thin, but all that changed when something happened on the night of their high school graduation. These three went on their separate ways until their paths crossed again when Lennon's mom died. When Lennon goes back to Agua Mesa, Finn and Brady are bound to be there too. What would their reunion be like? Are things going to be like they were before? 

I remember feeling varied emotions when I was reading this story. It invoked a lot of feelings. I mostly felt for Lennon. She has a crappy home life. She doesn't feel loved by her mom. But I think, she also has the best friends in the whole wide world - Finn and Brady. These two would bring down the moon for her if she asks them to. That's how thick these three are. Their friendship is to be envied. 

Of all the books of Millikin that I've read, this is probably the most shocking and most surprising. On the first chapter alone, I already felt the tension, the apprehension and the drama that is going to unfold. I was pulled helplessly into the love triangle and the intertwined and complicated relationship of these three main characters. I felt like their reunion is going to bring back old wounds, things that were left unspoken will be hinted at and things that were left alone or were swept under the rug will likely to be unearthed. I felt that electrifying and live tension in the air. It felt like I too was walking on eggshells. 

I would say that this story had me asking a lot of questions after it ended. I had this sudden urge to find and talk to someone who've just read the story and ask, "WHAT THE F%%% JUST HAPPENED?" (Yes, all in CAPS.) We have to compare notes. I had to go back to the last few pages or probably the last two chapters to make sure I got it right and that my reaction was justified. And I did get it right. I wasn't hallucinating or even imagining. That was the part that did me in. That was the part which made this book "Oh, so beyond the pale." Until now, months after reading this book, I still feel like at a loss. I still can't believe it. It made me ask myself, "what if I were Lennon, would that experience shape me to be a better person or mess me up more? Would it change the way I see life in general? Would I be thankful for it or would it make me loathe myself? These are just a few of the questions running through my head. At the same time, I was also in awe as to the lengths one would go in the name of friendship and love. And I don't blame them. If I were Brady or Finn, I would have probably done anything in my power to save Lennon from any more heartaches and desperation. I think, for once in our life, we all experience that one moment where we are called to do something beyond the pale. Something that is maybe beyond the bounds of reason. I call it something you do or a decision born out of a moment of temporary madness. Or if you're insane most of the time, something you do on a very rare lucid interval. Something you might actually regret but if you're asked if you would do it again, you would still do it without a moment's hesitation. It's one of those decisions which you might not ever dream of making but then you will commit to it again, a thousand times over because you know you're doing it for someone you love more than your life. I have once been on that kind of situation and I would say, if I had to go through that again, I'd still do it - a thousand times over. Just like a hero willing to go through that painful and gruesome death over and over again even in the next lifetime, only because he knows that the sacrifice would be so worth it.

With that said, I give this book 5/5 Lincoln's. The five-dollar bill is so significant in this story because it somehow marked the start of that unbreakable bond between Finn and Lennon. Who Lennon ends up with is also one of the many questions I asked. Who could the lucky guy be - Finn or Brady? I had my own bet and how I came up with that was by imagining "if I were Lennon", which actually happened a lot in the course of reading this story. I think, you won't get the full experience of this wonderful tale if you've never ever felt like you were actually Lennon. It's a requirement. At some point, you not only need to empathize with Lennon but you have be her in order to fully understand the dynamics between the characters and the essence of the story. You have to experience Lennon at some point and only then are you allowed to judge how and why the characters are who they are. If you were just a bystander unable to partake in the intimate experience, then you have not fully grasped the intention of this book. So yes, it would take a while for you to debrief after reading this. You will end up with a lot of questions as I have. And believe me, you will try to analyze the events of the story like it's the most important thing in the universe because you have to make sure that you understand what's really written between the lines and what has been implied. Yes, this is probably one of the best-written stories that had stayed with me days or even months after because I can't seem to get over it. It sticks with you like that stubborn gum in your shoe that you can't seem to wipe off.

Maybe that's how life goes. Perhaps we aren't a collection of the hearts we break, the love we fail into, or the experiences we have. We start out whole, and as we go through life, we carve out pieces of ourselves and leave them behind. Maybe we pick up the pieces of others, and stitch them onto us, until we are a fabric made of everyone else.

- Jennifer Millikin, Beyond the Pale - 

Thanks again, Jennifer Millikin for the ARC. I had a great time reading this story and I think this is your best story yet. 

Leah and Rhea (Spell #1) by Melissa Hines Helms | A Book Review

It's the fourth month since this pandemic has wreaked havoc and in a way, rearranged and disrupted our lives. I lost work for about two months and fortunately, I got reassigned to a another project about two weeks ago. That is something to be thankful for in this time of chaos in my country because of government officials doing a bad job. Instead of prioritizing the need to resolve and end Covid19, they are playing gods and flexing their powers to suppress freedom. It's a very sad reality. It's like another dictator is sitting in his throne and anyone who dares speak a wrong word will be thrown out to the dungeon or will forfeit  his life. 

In the midst of all these stressful events happening, I'd still like to think that good will always triumph over evil. That my country, no matter how horrible the situation its facing, is still a land of people who will fight for freedom, equality and end corruption. Like all the heroes who came before us, I believe this little archipelago in the Southeast is still home to a lot of men and women who will never ever let this country and our brave ancestors down. And I am one with that fight even if sometimes I want to just go and live somewhere else, if only migrating to another county is that easy. The events in my country are discouraging and you can't help but think about a very dim future. But as always, Filipinos are optimistic and we often look at the brighter side of things. We are also too forgiving which is also a curse because most of us tend to forget the wrongs done in the past and some of these perpetuators of those wrongs are again back in the government pillaging the country's coffers for personal gain. 

So, with the stress that's leeching all the positivity everywhere, I decide to just read books, listen to uplifting and relaxing music and watch K-dramas or movies that are projecting good vibes. Leah and Rhea is one. These two fairies will go against the mighty and powerful witch who put a spell on the whole forest. These two little beings will risk their lives to save the forest and their animal friends. Yes, this might be another David and Goliath story but it's a lot cuter and kid-friendly. 

Lea and Rhea are twin fairies who never discovered what their magic were. Their parents became stars in the sky when they were young. They never had anyone teach them about magic so all they have to do to survive is use their wits and of course, fly. That, at least, is something very useful for a fairy. 

This is a really good bedtime story for kids. It speaks of the bond of sisters, friendship, risking one's life for the good of the many and bravery. The story is not so unique but it got its point across. Good will always triumph over evil and nothing is really over until you stop trying. Our two friends, met very helpful and interesting characters along the way in their search to find the ingredients to reverse the spell of the evil witch Matilda. These characters are Khuno and Bunny who are rabbits; Win the Winking Willow Tree, Felda, Matilda's sister who is fortunately the good sister and the last older fairy; and finally, another fairy who can't talk - Troy. These characters helped the sisters make the reverse potion, bring back the whole forest to life and ended Matilda's reign of terror.

I actually enjoyed reading this book. I remember, I was a bit down and I wanted something to cheer me up. This book did it. It somehow uplift my spirit. It is so straightforward. It is so easy to read. It is also like a coming of age story for both of our fairies. These two fairies who don't know a single magic and has never left their forest has to reverse the curse that Matilda cast on the whole forest. As a consequence of ripping out the reverse spell from Matilda's book, Rhea was also affected by a curse. To save everyone and her sister, Leah and Rhea had to go separate ways to continue on their quest. These two had never been separated their whole lives so it was a very scary thing. But they each succeeded in their own task - Rhea to prepare the reverse spell and Leah to find the last and elusive ingredient for the spell to work. In the end, the evil is vanquished and the whole forest woke back to life. 

I give this book 4/5 pairs of colorful fairy wings. If I were a kid, I would surely love this book if I have read it when I was younger. It was very straightforward and all the language and tone of the story was very fitting for young audiences. If I have kids, which I still don't, but in the future, I would surely tell them of this tale. There were no very violent or gruesome scenes. It was filled with exciting adventures, if only the fairies were not pressed for time or fighting for their lives. I think this would make a good animation. I really had fun reading this book and it somehow made me forget about my worries, if only for the moment. I was rooting for the twin fairies to succeed and that only happened because these two refused to give up even if the odds they were up against were too much for them. This too applies in real life. You can't give up unless you give your all. You can't say you will fail if you haven't tried anything. And if by chance, you really fail, at least you gave your all. That alone speaks volumes. You won't look back with regret because the greatest tragedy is not moving an inch when you know you could have done something even if that does not guarantee the results. That's life. Nothing is guaranteed. You do your best and if you fail, you get up and try again. 

I could not find any quotable quotes in the story but I will let you in on how this story came about. This story came to Melissa when she was doing her undergraduate studies and was working part-time as a nanny for an adorable four-year old girl named Grace Farver Needlman. Grace had a terrific imagination as most kids do and Melissa needed to come up with engaging stories everyday for their drive home from preschool. And that's how Leah and Rhea's adventures started.

Thanks again, Melissa Hines Helms for the review copy. Sorry the review took ages. 

Reckoning Daze by Michael Beaulieu | A Book Review

Today is Black Saturday for us Catholics. Aside from that, the world is facing a pandemic - Covid 19. A flu like virus that started in Wuhan, China and is now wrecking havoc all over the world. In the Philippines, there are now about 4,100 cases and 1.7 million across the globe. The death count has reached over 102,000 worldwide and 221 in my country. We are all asked to stay in our homes and only go out to buy food and other necessities. Some offices have closed and employees are required to work from home. For others, no work, no pay. It is expected, I really hope not, that after this crisis, a lot of companies will be suffering losses and the economy will be in recession. This pandemic has brought a lot of uncertainties but it has also reminded us of a lot of the simple things we have ignored. This virus reminds us of the most important things in life like family and having just the basics is enough. All other things are either unessential or irrelevant. I hope we all could learn a lot from this scary experience. I hope that when this is over, we will be kinder to each other and to the environment. For us Filipinos, I pray that after this, we may learn to choose very wisely our leaders in the government. This pandemic has clearly shown what type of leaders we have and unfortunately, they haven't been doing a lot of what's expected from them. Only a very few, sadly, I can count with my fingers, that are exceptions. This I pray. Amen.

Reckoning Daze. The author sent me this to review along with another young adult book on witchcraft. I have read this on the later part of 2018 but as you may have noticed, my reviews are very few. I am still struggling until now, of almost two years in my work, of trying to find the right balance between being on a night shift and still be able to do other things. Reading is so easy for me. I can read any time but writing reviews is a totally different thing. It requires a lot of thinking and I found that being on a night shift, most of the time, drains me of all energy when I get home. The only thing to do is sleep. With this quarantine going on and working from home, hopefully, I'd be able to write a few reviews to make a dent on my already overwhelming list. Also, for this weekend, I will try to do as much. So, good luck to me.

As far as I can remember, this story was a bit hard to read. Hard because the main character seems to have it bad. Really bad. Yes, she's an actress and we have this concept that celebrities have a grand life. Well, not all. Lindsay's history and experiences are very harrowing and traumatic. At first, it will appear that the story is going nowhere. It seemed like the main character is intentionally destroying herself. I asked myself if there's an end to this. Fortunately, all my questions were answered before the story ended and thank the book gods, it ended well. The reason for Lindsay's destructive behavior was finally unveiled and her life is like a horror movie. It's sort of a miracle that Lindsay is still alive after all she'd been through. Her being anorexic, I think, is a result also of her tragic experiences growing up. I think, all root causes of all disorders go back to childhood and is related to family issues and domestic violence. I am just thankful that this story has a good ending. In the end, I was also rooting for Lindsay to find her strength amidst the chaos that is her life. 

I think, part of Lindsay's recovery could be attributed to her one best friend Liz. She was always there for her through the good and the bad. She was always dependable and I think that was one thing that kept Lindsay sane also. That she still has one loyal person she can hang on to. Yes, friendship and love does move mountains. Same here for Lindsay. Liz's friendship has helped her in her recovery. But the most important thing of all is of course - self-love. Our self should be the most important thing. It's different from being selfish. Loving one's self is treating yourself with dignity and respect. 

One of the things which resonate with me in this story is self-love. I could honestly say, I don't love myself enough which would directly relate to having a healthy self-esteem. Thank God, I am not self-destructive as Lindsay but I know that I don't love myself enough. I am not sure how to explain it but sometimes I feel like I can't even live with myself. I don't wish to be someone else but I wish that I were always as confident as my other friends. Growing up, I was bullied. I feel like I was a bully magnet, even in college and in some of the companies I've worked for. Sad truth is there are always people who are bullies. They like to make people feel less to make them feel more. What I hate about these situations is realizing that the people you thought were your friends were actually not. So now, I don't worry about not having too many friends. I am happy with just a few knowing these are people I can count on through the distance and no matter what happens. I am proud to say, I have found my people. Get rid of all the negative people in your life. You don't need them.

I give this book 3/5 bitter pills. I honestly don't want to read this story again. It leaves goose bumps and a very uneasy feeling. It's so harrowing to think that what happened to Lindsay here may actually be happening to someone in real life. That's just too mean. No one ever deserves that kind of life, no matter what s/he has done to contribute or to pave the way for those things to happen. One time is enough for me. I don't want to relive Lindsay's experience again. One time is enough and they've been imprinted in my brain. I don't want to read these kind of stories again where tragedy after tragedy strikes the hapless main character. I want him or her to at least fight. To not just let all these bad things happen to her one after the other. To just lay there. To not always be the victim. Again, I am just thankful that Lindsay finally found the courage to end all her suffering. To do something. I think that was what I was waiting for all along. For her to move, even just a tiny bit. To do something, to not let all these people walk all over her. To stop the abuse. And I understand, it was no easy feat. I think it took all of Lindsay's sanity and strength to do that which is very admirable. So, I hope to all those suffering from domestic violence and all other forms of abuse, please seek help. Reach out. I am sure, there is going to be one kind and generous soul who will see right through you and help your plight. You just have to extend your hand and let that other person pull you out. Do not ever think that you deserve that kind of life. No one does, ever!

I think he's been listening. He's just answering my prayers by repeatedly delivering the exact opposite of what I want.

Anorexia is the purest form of self-destruction.

I almost wish I could just binge and purge. But you don't choose your disorder, it chooses you. Sometimes I wonder if it's like being gay or lesbian, if it's not something inside of you, part of your genetic make up.

- Michael Beaulieu, Reckoning Daze -  

Thank you again, Michael Beaulieu for the review copy. Sorry for the long overdue review. 

Terminal 19 by L. R. Olson | A Book Review

Yesterday, I watched the movie Ford versus Ferrari starring Matt Damon and Christian Bale. It's based on a true story of Ken Miles, Carol Shelby and the Ford GT40. The only car to ever defeat Ferrari and won 4 straight years in Le Mans. Le Mans is a 24-hour car race and Ferrari always won it. It was a very inspiring story of two people who broke records and who refused to give in to bureaucracy and just followed their guts against all odds. It's a story of friendship, of the great drive to be better and to never give up in spite of everything stacked against them. 

How the movie relates to this book? Just like our two heroes in the movie, Miles and Shelby, Hope is also battling something a lot bigger than her nineteen-year old self - cancer. She was diagnosed five years ago and she has given up hope of ever be cured of it. It's ironic, right? Being her name is hope, but she has come to terms that she may just have two or three years tops to live. Her family and friends on the other hand, refuses to even think of that eventuality. 

So, as she might not have more years to live, Hope decided to actually do something she had long wanted to do - travel to Scandinavia. Why Scandinavia of all places? She had family there. Her dad was from Denmark. Aside from that, she just had this urgent need to go there. So, she kind of guilt-tripped her Mom to allow her to go and besides, she's meeting her cousin Faith there also. She's not exactly alone. In terms of the risk of her dying in another country, well, that might be a possibility but she refuses to dwell on that. She will have the best time of her life, if this is going to be her last. And besides, it had been years ago when she last had an attack. The doctor said her cancer is on status quo. Meaning, no improvement and it's not getting worse. 

So, off she went to Copenhagen and on her first day, she met a Scandinavian hottie. Yes, like model hot, who for the first time in a long time, made Hope embarrassed. He made her feel normal after a long time. She had gotten used to being examined by doctors wearing next to nothing that being embarrassed has become a bit alien to her. This trip, Hope wants to be anonymous, just like any other tourist. And best of all, people don't have to know that she's sick. She can be normal or pretend to be normal for a month and experience new things. To feel alive again because it's been a such long time she felt truly alive. 

Ahhh...this story is so full of hope that I too wanted to rush off and go to Scandinavia. To feel as alive as Hope felt, experiencing the sights, sounds and smell of Denmark, Norway and Finland. And finding my own Scandinavian hottie would be just the icing to it all. I wouldn't even complain. My own Christian or Thor. My wanderlust and thirst for new adventures and experiences was fueled by this story. If only. Maybe someday. 

This story just proved that when you step out of your comfort zone, it's when amazing and unexpected things happen. Just like Hope, going to Scandinavia was the best thing she did and if she'd only known that it was the best for her, she would have done it sooner. Scandinavia did amazing things to Hope, including to her illness. Happiness and joy are the best cure and Hope has found hope again. Hope to believe again that she might live longer. Heck, she wants to live longer and do more. She knows she can do more. 

This is a story of going beyond our limits and believing that life has a way of surprising us in the best way possible. Yes, it sucks most of the time, but when it gives out surprises, nothing will ever make you be ready for it. There's nothing else you can do but thank the universe for being generous and for being the lucky recipient of that fortune. So, if you're going through something horrible and impossible right now, fear not, it's not going to be permanent. The universe will find a way to make up for your misfortunes, as long as you keep hoping and have an open mind. Nothing is set in stone and the tides may yet turn in your favor. 

So, with that said, I give this book 5/5 Danish kroner. Yes, this Danish coin was the key to hope meeting Christian who helped bring hope and sunshine to her almost fading life. And their first meeting was embarrassing yet funny. This story, in more ways, will make you alive and cry at the same time. But mostly, hope. You will hope that you too may find or experience something as incredible as what Hope experienced in Scandinavia. That like Hope, even if it would be the last days of your life, something amazing will blow you away and that you will no longer fear dying because you have truly lived, even for a moment or for a few days. It's in the satisfaction of knowing that I may have lived only once but hell yeah, I lived. 

I wasn't supposed to come here to fall in love with life. I was supposed to come here as a last hurrah, to say goodbye to life. And suddenly, whereas before dying seemed like a relief, the thought of leaving no longer holds any appeal. 

It reminded again that death doesn't just affect the dead. It affects the living much, much more. 

- L. R. Olson, Terminal 19 -

Thanks again, ebooksforreview, I am a reader and L. R. Olson for the review copy. I am sorry this review took forever. 

The Artisan Heart by Dean Mayes | A Book Review

Happy New Year everyone! May the year 2020 bring in more blessings and adventures. May the new decade be filled with abundance and love. 

Christmas and New Year was a bit solemn for us because my brother-in-law had to be admitted to the hospital. What we suspected as just a spike in blood sugar and a slight stroke turned out to be a tumor in the brain which is blocking the fluids from draining and is growing near the brain stem. He had to undergo an operation immediately than risk a coma. Thankfully, we were able to borrow money for the operation. He was operated on the 26th to put a shant on his brain to drain the fluids and to lessen the building pressure. Another operation will be performed in a few days to remove the tumor which is benign and is just level one when tumors are concerned. Apparently, there are four levels or stages. At least, that's one thing we are thankful for and that we found it early, least he would just drop down into a coma while in the loo. That's how critical the situation would have been. We continue to pray that the next operation would be as smooth and there would be no complications and that he would make a faster full recovery. So, for those who will be reading this, please help pray for my brother-in-law. Thank you in advance.

When I chose this story as the first story to be reviewed for 2020, I did not have any conscious reason except that this should have been reviewed last year. After telling you about what our Christmas and New Year's celebration were like, I realized that this book has a lot of relevance to our experience mostly because the story is about a doctor. So, my telling you about my brother-in-law's case is actually a good introduction to this story or about the main character - Dr. Hayden Luschcombe.

Hayden is a very skilled pediatrician. He can easily spot things that most doctors would miss, thus is a very valuable asset to the hospital he works for. But after a very painful betrayal of his wife, he lost his cool while attending to a burned child at the emergency room and had an altercation with the child's father. He was suspended and might lose his license to practice. It was like Hayden's whole world came crushing down on him. His marriage is in shambles after he caught his wife cheating and now his career is lost as well. Worst, he had nowhere to go. No friends to find solace or comfort. His last and only resort was to go back to the one and only other place he knew - Walhalla. His hometown.

I had to reread the earlier parts of this story that led to Hayden's misfortunes. I had to make sure I had it right. What was imprinted in my consciousness was the part where Hayden spent in Walhalla after he lucked out, which is probably most of the story and the most amazing part. It turned out, life has a way of working out and for Hayden, it was Walhalla. Walhalla, along with its very kind-hearted people, had helped Hayden get back on his feet and rediscover his first love - woodworking. Aside from being a very good doctor, Hayden is a very skilled wood worker. It was in Walhalla where he found the strength and the inspiration to get his hands working again and create wooden masterpieces. It was also the place where he comes to terms with his past and his present and eventually, consider plans for his future.

Aside from Hayden, the two other inspiring characters in this story are the mother and daughter pair - Isabelle and Genevieve Sampi. Isabelle is a very talented baker. She could bake delicious and mouth-watering goodies. While reading this book, I could imagine the delicious aroma of bread baking and I can't help but miss the relaxing and uplifting mood baking brings to me. It's a very good form of stress relief which I have missed badly. I haven't done a lot of baking lately. But last New Year's eve, I got to relive the high of baking again because my sister asked me to make a banana cake when she saw that we had too many bananas that had gone too ripe. They were leftover from the hospital given by friends who visited. 

One very memorable scene in this story is how Hayden and Genevieve first met. It was a very hilarious one. The pint sized Genevieve packed a very mean kick and Hayden's unfortunate groin could attest to that. Also, Genevieve is deaf. She was so surprised that the doc is really good at sign language. These three souls (Isabelle, her daughter and the doc) turned out to find solace in each other and fix whatever is broken within themselves. As fate would have it, Walhalla is definitely the "Valley of the Gods" as it is called because these three people have found the healing they needed to start life over. 

This is a very touching story which tugged at my heart in so many different ways. I emphatized with Hayden. With him losing it and going ballistic with the parent was to me a very classic human reaction. I can understand his frustration and if I were in his place, I would have done the same thing. I would have creamed that abusive father till he admits to what he did to his own child. But then, society and values require us to be the bigger man, damn it! To be rational in a very frustrating situation. What the heck, right? But then, with the doc ending up in Walhalla, a place where he remembered he was loved, was a way for him to find hope once again.

Love, hope and that dreams do come through if you work hard enough, are the main themes of this story. In spite of the very unlucky start of Hayden, with his marriage and career ending, he found comfort and hope in the welcoming and very kind arms of Walhalla. He then resolved to fix his messes, starting with his parents' cottage. I guess, for some of us, whose issues aren't as tangible or the damage can't be literally fixed or put back together, we have to start the healing with the things that we can manually do something about. With Hayden, it was the cottage, then his dad's last wood work and then when he felt better enough about himself, he started fixing his life. The story tells us to take one thing at a time because to take on everything at once is too overwhelming. Instead of making things better, we may end up doing more damage. No one came back from the ashes in one go. Even the phoenix requires time to build strength and start the embers before rising to its rebirth. One step at a time because healing is gradual. It doesn't take overnight. It's a slow process. For others, much slower, depending on the person's drive to make things better and how much the emotional, physical and mental damage is. And it doesn't hurt also to have people who believe in you. That no matter how much you messed up, they believe that you can pull through because they've seen you when you were at your best. They have faith that you are a lot bigger than your messes. You can be better. You can do a lot better.

I give this book 5/5 doctor's bag. It's a very good story of starting over and doing what we truly love. And it couldn't be just one thing, but we could be passionate about many things. Just like Hayden, he doesn't have to choose between being a wood craftsman and a doctor, he could be both. He could do well with a chisel and a stethoscope. He's skilled at those two things. He could heal people with compassion and create works of art with wood with a passion. He could be an artisan doctor. He only has to be reminded of the joy that woodworking brings to him and from there he could feel better. To learn to forgive himself and start over. With that in mind, I hope that whatever our misses in 2019, we leave it there. We start over this year just like Doc Hayden, Isabelle and Genevieve and make a better life than the one we had the previous year or the years before that. To just aim to be better. Cheers to new beginnings and to living life with a passion and living our passions. If you have not found your passion or anything that makes you feel so alive, then find it!

What we were as children doesn't necessarily translate to the people we are now.

- Dean Mayes, The Artisan Heart - 

Thank you again Dean Mayes and Netgalley for the review copy. Sorry, this review took a whole year to come out. Happy New Year!

Dreaming of an Arabian Carpet by Igor Martek | A Book Review

Happy Sunday everyone! Wishing you all have a relaxing weekend. September has ended and  October is here. Meaning, Christmas is right around the corner. September was my birth month. I am thankful that I am way past singing "Wake me up when September ends." Life is a lot better. I am looking forward to the next year because I have a few good things lined up and planned. True, another year has been added to my age but I'd like to think that I am wiser. I've mastered the art of tolerance even when the situation tests the limits of my sanity and patience. I've also mastered indifference so as not to get overly stressed over situations I have absolutely no control of. Good or bad, that's a totally another discussion.

So, anyone of you watched Aladdin already? I've watched it online but haven't gotten to finish it. From what I've seen so far, it's good. Why am I asking about the movie? Well, the title of the book for this review is saying about a magic carpet which automatically makes me think of Aladdin right away. But this book does not speak of magic or genies or flying carpets but rather the land where all those are from - the Middle East. The land rich with oil, of desert and of sandstorms and for people from third-world countries, a land of opportunities.

Ricky, a Filipino, the main character in this story represents a lot of Filipinos who left their homeland in search of greener pastures and better opportunities. For Ricky, that's Hong Kong and then Kuwait. In this story, Ricky, represents the better lot of Filipinos who made it big and became successful in their career abroad. He's successful in his career which landed him a chance to work in Kuwait. His sister though isn't very fortunate. Like all other educated and college graduate Filipinos, his sister ended up as a domestic helper in Hong Kong. Much worse, she was mal-treated by her boss. 

The story centered around Ricky's inability to see things beyond what they are. I feel sorry for him because he can't seem to see if people are telling him the truth or not. Or maybe, he hasn't just grown mature enough to see how he's easily manipulated, especially when it comes to the women in his life. In fairness to him, he exactly knew what he needs to do but I think he lacks the conviction to actually do it. That's the biggest flaw in his character. 

Ricky and Breeze' relationship, right from the onset, is obviously doomed to fail. Ricky had no idea that he was actually targeted by Breeze because she thought with his position in the company, he could easily be the ticket who could take Breeze and her family out of poverty. Breeze manipulated him and took advantage of his feelings for her. When he seemed to be not useful anymore, she dropped him quicker than a hot dimsum. 

I especially hated Breeze and the people she represents. Yes, poverty allows us to do things out of necessity and desperation but there should be limits. Breeze' obsession with escaping her poor life just knows no bounds. She'll do just anything, even cheat, lie and do much worse if it means she could wear expensive clothes and expensive things. The sky is the limit and nothing could stop her from getting what she wants. Oblivious Ricky was no match for her.

What I liked about the story is how Ricky came to realize his losses after Breeze dropped him. He realized what Breeze was after all along and he also realized his worth, what he can do and the things he needed to do which he should have done before. The story ended with a very happy note, with Ricky and her elder sister from Hong Kong reunited in the Philippines. They can work on the dreams they used to talk about as kids and finally have the lives that they deserve, not dependent on another person who he thought could add meaning to his life but by leaning on and repaying back the love that had helped him become successful in his career. Dreaming of an Arabian Carpet reminds us of the most important things in life. Love, family and friends. Sometimes we try to look for love elsewhere, only to find it in our simple beginnings - in the care and dedication of our siblings and family, and the time to return the same love, nurturing and comfort they've given to us when they badly need it. And this is true enough for Ricky. All the success in the world, the large salary he's getting and all the rich people he comes in contact with could never silence the one thing his heart has kept telling him to do. It was time to man up and be the man in the family. Finally! Good job, Ricky.

I give this book 4/5 flying carpets. How the author explained why the story was called Dreaming of an Arabian Carpet is probably the best part of the story. The insights into the Muslim and Arab culture is also very educational. I was so disappointed in Ricky's character the whole part of the story and I even wonder how he'd be able to redeem himself. I could easily overlook his failed relationship with Breeze. He was just too trusting and he refuses to see what's been nagging him subconsciously. But his sister is a another story altogether. He knows he needs to do something for his sister, Eunice and he knows it's absolutely within his power but he just simply put it off. The breakup with Breeze was actually the best thing that happened to him because it opened up his eyes to the most important things. Family.

I was actually thinking of using lychees but I really hated Breeze' character so I don't want to use the lychee as an allusion to her though the story about the Lychee Park is a good story.

One thing I also noticed and I also read it in one other review, is that the story was lacking a little humor. The story was a bit too serious and a little light touch would have made it a lot better. I enjoyed it but a sprinkle of little fun and sunny parts would have made it more. Probably, a little less sad because the part about the flying carpet need not only be the one happy thing about the whole story altogether.

One character in the story who I really like is Walid. He's Ricky's friend who is rumored to be a bastard son of a Kuwaiti royal. I like his honesty. He has no qualms about stating the bullshit and admitting to his faults and the faults of his people. Here are one of the things he said:

That's what's wrong with us. Our wealth is a curse. It prevents us from doing anything for ourselves.

Truth is never what you know. It is how you know. Real truth is a journey. It transcends the fizz of details that come and go along the way.

 - Igor Martek, Dreaming of an Arabian Carpet -

Thanks, Igor Martek and Netgalley, for the review copy. I was very curious to know if you were a Filipino. I actually had to Google it. Thanks for being able to find the life of Ricky a good subject for a book. I know Ricky represents a lot more than just being a Filipino working in the Middle East but thanks for giving a life to his story and sharing it with the rest of the world. More power to you and I hope that you write more stories such as this that captures real-life and its struggles.